Lord, I do not desire to be a stiff-necked person. Yet there are so many times I have been obstinate, stubborn, and wanted my own way. Situations come up in my life, and the first thing I think of is how it can work out best for me. I don’t think of myself as selfish, but I certainly do prefer when circumstances benefit me and don’t rock my boat.
There are so many things beyond my control that I seek to tightly control the things that are within my grasp. I do what I can to plan my work and work my plan. I try and keep a handle on and stay on top of events, relationships, finances, schedules, health issues, family, home. The truth is: my being in control is just an illusion. I am not really in control of anything. But by Your grace, make it from one day to the next, one month to the next, one year to the next.
Before, I believed order was better than chaos, and the lack of control is chaos. So trying to control things meant I was being good. Now what I believe is that You are a God of order. You created the universe with order. You ordered the solar system, and the seasons, life cycles and day and night. If You can handle the universe, You can certainly handle the details of my life. The control I so seek, I can trust to You. I need to do my part, but I can release that part of me that seeks to insist on my own way, that seeks to ‘feel’ in control.
A new way of thinking for me is to ask how the circumstances in my life can be used to bring You glory. How can I respond in a way that shows that my peace and confidence come from You, the Lord God Almighty, instead of being dependent on whether or not things work out my way?
Help me Lord. Keep my heart sensitive to what You are doing so I can join you. Keep my mind focused on what You are showing me and teaching me through Your Word, about how to let go. I have heard that I cannot do Your part, and You will not do my part. Give me the discernment to know which is which. And the courage to let my actions reflect that. Amen